Tuesday, December 29, 2009

#17 - Common Courtesy Hit N Run

I parked at the laundromat last night. A corner spot. Something told me I shouldn't have parked there, but there was a snow outline from the car that had parked there previously.

Not 15 minutes later I walked out to find a note under the wiper on my car. It said "I hit your car. Please call me. [phone number]"

People in Pittsburgh have common courtesy, even when it comes to hit N runs.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

#16 - Steelers

The loss that Pittsburghers feel
after the Steelers fall
is probably an embodiment
of battles lost
foreign competition
and fate.
It is more than a simple
loss for a team
it is a loss for this town
with chips on its' shoulders
dragged down
beat up
left for dead
and recovered
with little to show
but inaccessible jobs in
medical technology
and a bitchin' football team.

#15 - Bartenders with Rhinestone Studded Steelers Shirts

It seems perfectly normal when your bartender is wearing a Rhinestone Studded Steelers Shirt. During the off-season.

Monday, December 14, 2009

#14 - Unemployed Dudes w/ Yinzer Street Cred

Unemployed dudes who used to play bass in a crappy yet relatively popular Pittsburgh band (i.e., Buzz Poets), live in their mom's basement and drive unreliable '86 IROC-Zs pull more ass than white collar professionals who drive BMWs.

Monday, December 7, 2009

#13 - Group Photos

Making a group of foreigners' evening by offering to take their photo with their camera, completely unsolicited. A few extra seconds in the cold for strangers' lifetime memories.

Monday, November 30, 2009

#12 - Positive Jams

Skateboarding through Southside the other night,
searching for zen amongst sidewalk gaps and cracks,
a young PAT bus driver enjoying a smoke break outside Ghetto Bird
interrupted my crowded solitary endeavor with a question and a compliment.
"Nice Manual" he said between puffs and small talk.

A few minutes later, a few thousand rotations
of urethane through the gritty grime of city streets and sides
and I found myself cruising a parking lot
yanked to reality
by a woman of questionable integrity
"Can you read this?"
My cynicism said "scam" until I saw the paper
a phone number scrawled.
I read the number.
She inserted two quarters into the pay phone
which seemed written into my evening
dialed the number
"Thank you so much, hon. You're great at Skateboarding, by the way."

I smiled and skated off.
She smiled and ordered drugs.

My push was a little lighter on the way home
having given and gotten something
from the bus driver
the drifter
and the city.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

#11: Plans for the inevitable Zombie Invasion

Setting: Spotlight Costumes
Me, My Girlfriend, two employees.

"Why does your roomate have Nunchuks?"
"For the Zombie invasion. Duh."
(The girl at the register smiled knowingly)

It's not simply arming ourselves with blunt objects; many Pittsburghers have a detailed plan for coping with the inevitable zombie invasion.

For example, my roommate has nunchucks. I have a Pirates souvenir baseball bat. My roomate has a discreet, reliable, 1997 Chevy Lumina with everything you need to survive a zombie invasion in the trunk. My parents have food and supplies for months (a shopoholic mom and a hoarding father combine to create the ultimate Zombie survival destination.)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

#10: Completely Inappropriate Speed Limits

Roads with a 40mph posted speed limit that are so narrow and potholed you (and the rest of traffic) cannot possibly travel over 25mph, juxtaposed with 25mph posted speed limit roads that are built like limited access highways so you (and the rest of traffic) cruise at 50+ mph.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

#9: Global Warming

If people continue to believe that some dissenting opinion on global warming gives them reason to continue to drive school-bus sized SUVs and leave their lights on 23 hours a day, 364 days a year, Pittsburgh will soon be a tropical destination like Florida or the Bahamas(which will no longer exist). The occasional Polar Bear floating down the Mon on a glacier will serve to remind us how good we have it.

Note: This photo was taken with a 35mm Kodak throwaway camera. I think, in the right light, throwaways take better pics than all but the best DSLRs.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

#8: Out of State Steelers Bars

With plans to visit friends in Columbus, OH, Saturday night, I was concerned I wouldn't make it back for the Steelers / Bengals game Sunday at 1pm. Turns out there is a Steelers bar less than 10 minutes away from where we are staying. Epic.

Monday, November 9, 2009

#7: Local News During Football Season

5:00 pm: Local News (Steelers)
5:10 pm: National News (City where Steelers are playing /opponents are from)
5:15 pm: Weather (game conditions)
5:20 pm: Sports (STEELERS!)
5:25 pm: Human Interest (Steelers)
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

#5: Location, Location, Location

I'm about to jump in my car and drive 2.5 hours to a place with the least light pollution on the east coast.

Friday, November 6, 2009

#4: Six Degrees of Yinzer

I was talking to another department's manager today at work, and found out his wife's sister owns the arcade my punk band played at last weekend.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

#3: Baggers

Baggers who have no qualms about striking up a conversation based on your grocery purchases.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

#2: Stuffed Shirts

When you close your eyes and listen to the six figure stuffed shirt upper management at my company, they sound remarkably similar to the yinzers at my local tavern.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

#1: Courtesy

I love how rush hour traffic stopped this morning on 885, allowing a drunken raccoon to return to the foliage on the side of the road. No horns honked, no firearms discharged, no raccoon smooshed.