Thursday, November 12, 2015

#132 - Traffic

Some days getting stuck in Pittsburgh traffic is like being awaken in the middle of the night by your 5 month old daughter:

'Ugh, Goddamnit! Not again...

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

#131 - Extreme Couponing

Scene: Giant Eagle, Homestead.

A middle aged (but young at heart!) man is checking out of the self service.  The groceries are scanned and whisked away on the conveyor belt of efficiency. 1,2,3 coupons are happily scanned then deposited into the abyss that is the self service checkout coupon disposal slot. Suddenly! The next coupon is scanned, and a red screen pops up. Not accepted! The  man scans the coupon again and again, fearing the bored, slightly agitated couple behind him will subject him to some sort of internet shaming, possibly in the form of negative Yelp reviews of his as yet unopened Hostel for cyclists. He presses the help button, the light flashes, and before one can say 'your perm smells nice, lady' an overzealous Giant Eagle employee has her card scanned, some sort of magical code punched in, and the man's coupon accepted and disposed, all while exhibiting the incredulity that only a yinzer seeing a coupon being denied can muster.


Monday, July 6, 2015

#130 - Air Brake

A job is a job is a job but there's something kind of rad about telling yinzer old timers you work at the Air Brake* and they all know exactly where you're talking about.


*now Wabtec. started as Westinghouse Air Brake.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

#129 - Yinzer Neighbors

Pulled into my oh so luxurious S.S. carport after a particularly  long / shit day not wanting to talk to anyone asides from my wife, daughter, and a cold beer. At some point during my commute, I thought, man, I dont even know the names of my friendly across the alley from my carport yinzer neighbors. Sure enough, on the day I was craving nothing more than solitude, Joe and his wife Marlene busted out a sweet gift bag for our daughter just as soon as I they say me pull in. Their name was on the gift tag. If course. No need for a present, but we got one anywayse. Because we're neighbors.


Thursday, June 11, 2015

#128 - Jag

Scene: My very pregnant (British) wife and I are crossing the madness that is E Carson St at 7:45pm on a weeknight.
"Watch out for that jag" - Me
"Oh, was that a Jaguar?" Wife
"No. Jagoff." - Me

Thursday, June 4, 2015

#127 - Port Authority Apology

A Port Authority Bus driver just apologized. APOLOGIZED.  With sincerity.

He had pulled away from a couple, believing they were getting in a car. They yelled and gave chase as theyd intended to utilize our fine transit system. He stopped, and after they boarded, said "I'm sorry"

Also he didn't run over any cyclists on the 54 route between Southside and Bloomfield and was generally polite.


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

#126 - Primanti's References

The super certified teacher at our breast feeding class used proper Primanti Sandwich eating techniques as an analogy to correct child breastfeeding position.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

#125 - Crumbling Infrastructure

Private property but crumbling tracks less than a mile from where a derailment happened under a week before. The mighty falling.

Our shit isn't perfect here in Pittsburgh but at least we are surrounded by those who recognize a need for infrastructure, and a host of other commie govbmnt programs, to maintain a functioning society.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

#124 - Underwear Bike Ride

Joined the underwear bike ride randomly after encountering it at Market Square and letting the German in me take over.

Stripped to my skivvies and enjoyed the simplistic beauty of mostly naked yinzers riding bicycles in harmony.

Dipped and whooped and hollered up and down and around downtown, Southside, and north shore. Through the Armstrong Tunnels we were a wall of sound. Left the group at Penn Brewery to ride home, getting late for a school night.
Passed a couple yinzers cleaning the Station Square sandstone with some non-caustic cleaners 30 minutes since the underwear ride passed and they were still pontificating wildly about the 395 or so underwear clad who had rode by a short while ago.

Photo Unrelated To Underwear Ride Except Thematically.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

#123 - pray for Ben and the Pens

"Don't worry about it. Just say a little prayer Ben gets a contract extension. And the Pens make the playoffs."

Friday, February 13, 2015

#122 - See ID

All of my debit and credit cards have 'See ID' written on the back (after some crackhead stole my debit card in Erie in the early oughts and bought a Playstation. Different story).  I don't 100% get asked for ID but when I do probably 90% of the time Pittsburghers apologize. To which I reply 'don't apologize. I put See ID on so people will ask.'


Tuesday, February 3, 2015


I was a little bummed in the midst of a slightly less than stellar (normal) week at work. Hit up The Wheel Mill on my way home for spins and smiles.  The (run what you brung) bike I own is an All-Mountain (now referred to as an Enduro? I can't keep up with bikes); more like a sledgehammer when what you need at an indoor bike park is a surgeons knife. 
"What's it like running clipless pedals here?" - guy on a jumper-ish bike
"Eh, it's what I have.. I keep meaning to buy flats... but run what you brung!"
"Well, try my bike!" - guy

And after a shoe change to my vans a dude I just met let random me take his bike for a quick few loops around the pump track.  Exchanged a little small talk after I rode, work, kids, etc. A typical dude in Pittsburgh you'd probably never meet elsewhere. 


Sunday, January 25, 2015

#120 - Random Acts of Kindness

Stopped at the turnpike to parkway toll booth on my way home from Seven Springs, with a slight need to pee, a car two in front of me spent an inordinate amount of time at the cash only pay booth. My anger rising due to impatience, I watched one, two, maybe three minutes tick by. A small fraction of my day but in these modern times we get frustrated if a website takes longer than 2 seconds to load and expect a Chai Mocha Soy Latte with a double twist and a side car of espresso to be done in under 3 minutes, 3 minutes at a toll booth feels like an eternity.

I watched two people run dollars up to the car and finally it pulled away.  I had my fiver ready to go when I pulled to the toll booth, expecting a frustrated state employee wanting to shuffle the line through. 'Sorry about the wait. That was awesome, two random acts of kindness! That car gave them a buck, and that car gave them a buck!' The transaction occurred; I got my quarter. 'Have a great night!' he said, without a trace of cynicism or irony. Someone who sees the best and the worst the world has to offer still manages to stay positive.


#119 - Art is Cool (But still doesn't pay)

It seems like everyone is embracing art, from the grizzled veteran bar fly to the tattooed skater dude, to the punk rocker, to the metal head, to the blue collar yinzer. Whether it's doing their own thing or digging what others are doing, artistic endeavors are cool.


Sunday, January 4, 2015